The past few days have been good for those in the noble business of trolling. L’s were handed out without discrimination. In a similar exhibition of equality and non-discrimination, this edition of ‘Troll of the Week‘ would feature posts dedicated to each of the four protagonists – Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United.
I am in Oprah mode. Thank me later.
LiVARpool crashed out of the FA cup at home to West Brom despite the best efforts of the Video Assistant Referee. The result presented more evidence regarding the poor quality of their two goalies, leading to more complaints from their fans: ”Mig-no-let us win and Loris can’t Kari-us”.
The thuggish Alan Pardew telling Jurgen to klopp off. It was later rumoured that the German made peace with Pardew by offereing him one world-class hug and a Daniel Sturridge on loan.
The widely circulated LMAO referring to Arsenal’s new attacking combination is used here but Akanni puts a slight spin on it, prompting the reader to use some imagination regarding Aubameyang. Simple set-up but brutal execution much like the goals scored by Swansea against Arsenal.
The Arsenal defender fell yakata and Arsenal also fell yakata. Meaning they fell without shame or decorum. Meaning they fell in such a ridiculously funny way, they left themselves vulnerable to trolling bullets. Gunned Gunners.
N’Golo, goes low. A touching story most Chelsea fans wouldn’t want to read about the umpteenth rise and fall of the Roman Empire (in South West London). Dayo Ade would however be back to tell us more on the next episode of Tales by Moonlight. Stay tuned.
Chelsea’s Calamity, well and truly honored.
Alexis Sanchez stands up from the piano in the away dressing room. He walks down the tunnel with his team-mates onto the Wembley pitch. The tune he was playing on the piano is still floating about in his head. ”Glory, Glory, Man Utd”, he hums to himself. The referee blows the whistle aaaaaand… Goal for Spurs.
In true Oprah-like manner, EeJay offers up a ‘Troll one, Troll the other free’ thread. She even manages to throw in a derogatory name for Spurs’ temporary home ground- Universal Soil.
Lord have mercy.
Oladimeji Sapoloso
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