No, we don’t have Lauryn Hill as a guest writer. We do have some trolls as memorable as some of her hit songs from the classic album ”The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”. So grab a pen and notebook and prepare to be educated. Welcome to Footie Fantasy Troll Academy. Our motto is ”You might win some but you just lost one”.
We start with Physics 101. It was a gravity-affirming masterclass by Neymar during PSG’s win over Liverpool. He regularly explored the comforts of the Paris pitch, but he also found time to pull off some skills and score a goal. Top lad.
After winning the league with 101 points last season, our extrapolation, permutation, and statistical models point to Man City going past that record this season. This is unsurprising seeing as they evidently have 38 ‘home’ games instead of 19. For more in-depth analysis, sign up for our online Statistics lectures.
Simple arithmetic showing a balanced equation. A.K.A Quick Maths.
Let’s assemble for an English Language class and learn about this new verb. (Seriously though, this is a cruel world in which no sympathy is extended to a player when he gets tackled by a dangerous ball)
Religious Studies is next. A twist on a Biblical verse, featuring Mike ”Drama Queen” Deen (Enemy of Arsenal) banishing a Spurs player to the Wilderness. Jan Vertonghen looks suitably shocked.
Incorporation of numbers into a sentence is used to highlight the result of Sunday’s dramatic North London Derby. This new branch of Linguistics is developing rapidly in today’s world and a Bachelor’s degree program is currently on offer in the 2018/19 academic session.
Further Mathematics. Following defeat to PSG, Liverpool fans went reaching for their electronic calculators trying to determine which Champion League scores would take them further.
And in previewing the midweek game between Manchester United and Arsenal, here is a science problem for your homework. Is this situation in fulfillment of the Newton law which states that ”for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction”? Are the two men in the picture genetically modified clones? Was there a chemical reaction involved?
Discuss in 350 words and hand in your answers next week. Class dismissed.
Tutorials by Oladimeji Sapoloso.